1. Well, at least it takes twice as long once you have to correct the messed-up formatting when the site uploads your resume in the dumbest way possible…and then they never get back to you, ever.
2. Well, technically they’re Koopa Paratroopas, but we get where you’re coming from.
3. If others want less-than-fresh leftovers, those consequences are on them.
4. It’s literally “Cookies ‘n Cream Cookies (with cream).”
5. MORE LIKE WATERMELON SMASHING CONTESTS, SPEAK THE TRUTH!
6. It’s like no one learned anything from Tetris.
7. This is a Sirius problem.
8. Putting scissors in plastic covering requiring another pair of scissors should be illegal.
9. Also THEIR EYES SHOULD BE THE HEADLIGHTS, NOT THE WINDSHIELD.
10. Raccoons are trash pandas, and peacocks are fancy pigeons. It all checks out.
11. Estimated completion date: whenever???
12. Everyone deserves pockets.
13. 1995’s most important issue.
We like you. Do you like us too?