Why some people think that starting out a conversation with “I love your skin, do you need your skin? Let me wear your skin” is a good way to find a partner, we’ll never know.
But, that’s what we get for signing up for DatingoftheLambs.com.
And Bill, if you’re reading this, please stop asking about my body measurements.
1. *Takes hard step backwards*
2. What a strange egg.
3. Ugh, telling people about your dreams is so boring.
4. If you type to someone that they’re your gf, it’s contractually binding.
5. Happy 1 month, my future kidnapped bride!
6. I KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE BECAUSE I AM MAN.
7. It puts the lotion on the skin (and then goes out on a date).
8. What a lovely poem.
9. I think he’s watched too much porn about pizza delivery drivers, because uhh, no dude.
10. Nothing more romantic than a guy admitting he wants to kidnap you.
11. At least he’s honest.
12. No matter how far you drift apart, it will never be far enough, my good man.
13. Fucking disgusting, I hate sunflower seed milk ice cream.
We like you. Do you like us too?